the Bitch in the house

It’s hot, it’s monsooning, and it is humid. This neck of the oasis is generally known for the dry heat of summer, but when it is up over 110* and the humidity is anywhere over 50%, misery sets in. Have I mentioned before that we don’t have a pool? Maybe, I have… hmmm. Well, we attend swimmy classes at the citypools in order to beat the heat. The sun was beating down on the littlebitties and I doing exercises in the pool as a helicopter with local news insignia astride began circling overhead. Now I am not gangsta large, but I know that it is no damn good when a news’copter is vulturin’ above my head. It means that either a sniper is about and aimed near my prescious head, or that somethin’ I am doin’ is part of the newscast…. and they don’t waste expensive ‘copter fuel on just any news story – this has got to be a good one! So I say something to this effect out loud in swimmy classes… And the old ladies laugh it off knowing that I am such a jokester – quick with sardonic play. Yet I persist to my H2O aerobics instructor (who, ironically, looks like two of me fat with pregnant baby-belly), and he continues to laugh, but realizes that I am dead serious and gettin’ frustrated – so he spills the beans that, because of a little buggy or parasite known as cryptosporidium or “crypto,” were found at a pool over 50miles from our house the news is lookin’ for a story. However, according to the Centers for Disease control, this cootie lives in the intestines and can pass through a person’s stool or be transferred through water. Yet largesselifeguard continues to make reassurances that it’s no big deal and that the news is just lookin’ for an angle. But I am still concerned, becasuse I know better about those news crews – so when another young lifegaurd comes out to gossip that the pools are likely to close for the day, I am beginning to freak out a tad. Then, in short order, the sight manager comes on the scratchy overhead and explains that the city found a parasite and we must evacuate the pool immediately! Those were his words!! As if I wasn’t already soaked thru and through in the could-be-contaminated-water! According to the lifeguards, they were not effected but that doesn’t prevent the city from overreacting and shutting down every pool in its authority. This would be one occassion when inner-city livin’ should be a benefit, afterall, we didn’t get any cryptos in the local watering hole – teehee. However, we will be sweltering out the next week in hotsticky discomfort instead of playing somewhere like here…

The truth is that I had already invested in a largesse kiddiepool. Does it make the grade? Of course not! But it does fill with water and is cool enough to splash around in during the hottest of the hot days… So while the ePrince is stumbling around hormonalville and the lil’Einstein is buggin’ me for more Boomerang teevee, I can call on the arsenal of squirt guns and a splashyball to assuage the strife brewin’ like a sickly stew on our street. Dontcha just wish you could vaca-y with us?!