If you’re like most parents, the “why?” question is a phase that lasts a really annoyingly long time in early childhood development and then progresses onto other discoveries and questions and activities in your children’s budding imagination before entering kindergarten.
However, if you’re raising a lilEinstein, the question of “why?” is a never-ending conversation starter. It is everyday all day long and doesn’t stop because of course, if one is as curious as the fucking lilEisntein, the question of, “why?” always, ALWAYS leads to another question of, “why?”
The hubby and I being very clever parents as we are, have never discouraged the lilEinstein from the non-stop queries and much to our chagrin, we have sometimes even encouraged the lilEinstein to keep asking, keep searching, keep looking to answer all the whys of his world.
But at 10 years old, the lilEinstein’s world is getting bigger.
So he recently started, yet another, new school. This one has been (thus far) very good for him and for us. He has really relished all of the learning and we have enjoyed meeting the families at this school. We feel a part of the community in a way that we have not experienced since we moved to this godforsaken town. Needless to say, it’s been a lovely experience overall. And I won’t say it has been easy, the coursework is challenging and a few of the classmates are a bit on the competitive side. The rules of the school are fairly rigid and the expectations for student conduct are high. We still like it.
So when the lilEinstein came home and said that this school was even more strict on language usage than at any other place he had attended (even that fucking fake catholic school he went to a few years back), I was not surprised and even kind of pleased in the way they were rigorous about syntax and words in this community.
Yet, the lilEinstein wasn’t able to work out on his own why some popular phrases where unacceptable at school. And as we were driving home from dinner popped out a question about a term that he’s heard a lot and did not think was necessarily bad given the context of his world view and scope of experience. The lilEinstein wanted to know why, “you suck” is considered bad at his new school.
Of course I started laughing! And the hubby sunk down in his chair with a grin from ear-to-ear and nodded in my direction with the obvious meaning that with relished pleasure he would NOT be fielding this, “why?” pondering. So I’ve just come from a work-related press conference and am still wearing my “I ❤ Pro-Choice Boys” tee which to me makes the occasion even that much more ironic and guffaw-inducing!
So I answer as delicately and without as much detail as I can muster that the term, “you suck” is rude because it means something more than drinking from a straw. And the lilEinstein doesn’t skip a beat as he says, “is it about sex?” At which point, the hubby is now so far down in the front seat that drivers in other cars surely thought I was laughing so hard all by myself! We were at a changing light, turning left on a trailing yellow and I was crying with laughter as I tried to carefully turn the corner and buy myself at least a minute for answering when the lilEinstein yells out, “does it mean what I think it means? why would anyone suck on a ball sack?”
And there you have it. Ten years old and my lilEinstein has figured out through the process of deduction that there is such a thing as blow jobs!
I hate to think about where the, “whys” are gonna go from here. I mean, it’s not like we don’t have good books about this stuff in his bathroom!