I am in a state of perplexed wonder at the hype over M.Obama’s marriage. Aren’t any of you?! I know, I know… it’s gauche to badmouth another’s relationship, particularly given that the innerworkings of relating and marriage are so damn difficult, and most especially when viewed under the unblinking eye of the world.

There have been so many publiclypoliticalcoupleships that seem frighteningly false and bad. Our soontobeformerpresident and his ladyluv are no exception; they kind of quease an unease for each other under the best of circumstances, and they have not enjoyed goodtimes for some time now, given all the intruding world events. Another former political powerhouse duo, the Clintons, obviously did not enjoy the intimate company of one another, as we know byway of Lewinski, et al. The Kennedy’s are another tainted affair gone public in the intervening generations since the assassination (and did anyone ever suspect Jackie O? — c’mon, the first good investigation would’ve started with the jilted wife!…we all know that Warren Commission Report is flawed…). Given the overt comparisons between Obama and Lincoln, or FDR have a sad hollow ring about them for the wifely role M.Obama is stepping into. Mrs. Lincoln was a sad and bitter shopaholic; while Eleanor was considered overbearing and shoved aside as soon as possible – though it is likely that the latter had great influence over the economic recovery plans we are contemplating for today’s political woes.

This must be why the love affair and deep and equally obvious affection that Obama has for M.Obama is the subject of so much interest. The body language of the Obamas sharply contrasts with that of the other presidential marriages. Could it be that an eye is being sharply focused on the presidency to unveil through only possible softspot in the Obama power play? Because so far, Obama is a crowning achievement for the political landscape; he has managed, massaged and maneuvered (already) through some dicey territory and despite the muck he has come out shiny and sparkly, so far. It seems as though he must break, or at least crack from the excess of all this scrutiny caused by his success, and yet he just keeps on – unfazed by it all. And M.Obama and her husband seem to be wearing all this attention fairly well.

M.Obama is an intelligent and strong woman in a situation that does not lend itself to spirited individuality. The only chink in the Obama political armor may, in fact, be the emotional undergirding of the presidential marriage. Undermining or, (more favorably) supporting the familial relationship of the president to his wife and children may be an important factor for continuing the success of the Obama political legacy. Those of us who so desire the goals of this leader to become policy would do well to also support the foundations of his marriage to M.Obama. That means, no saucy interns should skirt around the oval office for an upclosepersonal view of man. No foolish aides should turn out the intense and difficult relating necessary to a good marriage. The communications of the president and M.Obama should be sacred. We – the onlookers – have to bolster our president by giving his relationship respect and dignity.


Whatever, whyever, however this has worked for the two of them so far is none of our business until they are ready to tell us. I know an interested look at this relationship that seems so deeply rooted in equality for each of the Obamas is a new and unique scene at the white house. Learning to practice a sense of patience on this subject may reward us with the ‘dish’ on their romantic love affair after their turn at the presidency has moved into a future history. The cynic in me sees that the press being all caught up in the romance of their relationship right now is really just a means to a bad end, I fear.

Let’s us agree to not play that way…

a bitchin feminista mama at the intersection of political quagmire and real life.

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