the Bitch in the house

It’s been a heck of a week!  Seriously, have I mentioned this before: I am as busy as ever!!  When I lost my mind this afternoon, freaking out about all that had to be done; my frustrations at not being all, doing all, the very best – it suddenly dawned on me that this is my job.  I have two really great kids, but my older one is special needs & gifted while the younger one is just freakishly gifted.  I live in the state that ranks 50 out of 50 (that is last place for those of you who might be feeling generous and think I meant 1/50) for education and no.2 (right after Nevada) in teen pregnancy rates.  Obviously, our priorities are not in the right place!

I am fighting (again) with schools, instructors and administrators about how best to meet my children’s individual needs.  I just don’t buy into the idea that these are ‘good’ people who are undereducated, underpaid and overworked.  Most of them are arrogant in the extreme, believing they know far more than they do and trying to actually work as little as possible to help the children they are charged in caring for.  It is the rare teacher or school employee who actually does help and support my kids academically.  While they are in fairly decent school environments (as much as is possible in this community) – it takes a hell of a lot of advocacy, work, research, self-esteem, and knowledge to combat the outright complacency my kids endure while at school.

And my kids are not alone – they go to school with lots of other kids who I see languishing in this system.  Even gifted kids are at risk for dropping out of school – in fact the national trend proves gifted students to be almost equivalently likely to leave school before graduation – only some of them bothering with GED’s.  These are kids who end up, intellectually, eating themselves alive.  It is f**king frustrating to watch.  Add to the personal psychoses, the social and cultural nightmare of the community where I live is filled with people who are not really connected to one another or the space (for example, they commute after a move away from their hometowns to make money here).  It is really toxic.  And that toxicity is bad for the smart kids, but what about the mediocre or even struggling kids who know they should get better?  And their parents who also know their kids are being ripped off by the very systems that are supposed to provide basic social needs and skills.

The republican candidate for the President of the United States hales from my state and currently resides (in one of his many houses) in the community where I live.  This is such an outrageous atrocity that I cannot begin to express my disgust.  That there are people who would actually vote for this guy, given his track record of superleadershipskills in his home state, is really just evidence of my personal frustrations and my venting expressed herein.

Aren’t we all worth more than this?  I think my kids are, I even think your kids are.  And yet I am running around overwhelmed and frustrated by just trying to care for my own.  Even though I am an advocate with a long resume of successful community projects behind me, I  just can’t get this right – I just cannot see the forest for the trees right now.